Grace Hurts

Sometimes grace hurts.

I had never thought of it that way but the more the phrase circles my brain, the truer it becomes.

Maybe I should backtrack and tell you what prompted this comment made by my husband.

My brother is temporarily living with us for the second time in three years for various reasons. Unfortunately, my 17 y.o. son is having a hard time with it. My husband and I decided to invite my brother to eat lunch with us at a restaurant one Sunday after church. My son was not happy about my brother “horning” in on family time and my husband stated: Grace hurts.

Grace normally has a soft, gentle connotation, because it is defined as mercy or blessings we received that we did not deserve.

And it is: when it is given to us.

But what does it take to give grace? God gave us grace by sending His Son Jesus to die a horrific death on the cross. He showed us love by taking on our sins through Jesus Christ, while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:8)

How can we show grace to the people who tend to hurt us the most?

The husband who cheated
The friend who stabbed you in the back
The parents/family who neglected you

We want them to pay for the pain. But God’s ways are not our ways and to not treat them like they deserve is hard. I think that grace done right should cause a little piece of us to die every time we give it. A piece of control, of revenge and maybe, just maybe, a little piece of the hurt that person caused. I am so thankful for a God who can handle all of those feelings that circle my head and heart, even when I want to hold onto them.

Next time we need to give grace to someone who really, in our eyes, doesn’t need or deserve it; remember how much it hurt God to give us more grace than we could ever deserve or give to another person.

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