Love Worth Pursuing

Empowering Your Pursuit of God

Rejected

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Rejected is how I have been feeling for a while, actually, a long while. And today, God reminded me that is how I am treating Him.

You know, Satan’s lies start small, kind of like in the Garden of Eden.

     The serpent says to Eve, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” Find the story here: Genesis 3

That question threw Eve off just enough that she exaggerated what God had actually said about the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and the rest is history.

How like us. We hear something and then the whispers that sound a lot like our own voices start to distort what loved ones, friends, and even God has spoken to us.

That is where I am right now. I have listened to the whispers of the deceiver and believed them. That people really don’t like me, that I am too much or not enough. And when you are so very aware of your own faults, they get magnified way out of proportion. This plays out in  the staying in my comfort zone, I’m not going to get rejected there. I stick to one on one mentoring, which I love, but I can do damage control from there. I feel misunderstood, but my introverted personality and the fear of rejection will stop me from verifying if my feelings are validated or just nonsense.

What does this have to do with rejecting God? I have been running from my calling for too many years. God wants me to write, He has made that abundantly clear and yet I just keep putting it off. This morning, as I was praying/talking to God I got the loving but stern reminder that this writing thing needs to happen. I, of course, said I didn’t have time and I needed to meet with the people that I am mentoring/discipling and I had made the appointments. I could almost hear the sadness as He asked “What about me?” I admit, I have a hard time with one on one time with my God. He has proved Himself faithful countless times and is my portion but for some reason…

Do you struggle with rejecting God, too? Either by neglecting your quiet time with His Word, the bible, or not trusting Him with your life and dreams. I will probably struggle with both of these things as long as I breathe but I want to remember this the most:

Psalm 7326

 

Identity

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I have been struggling for YEARS I am sorry to say with God’s calling me to write. So I fight. I hide. I wrestle with the ideas that God gives me and choose not to share; out of fear, perfectionism, feelings of unworthiness.

The past three years have been hard. God stripped me of everything I THOUGHT I was. Yes, I am still a mom to two amazing kids who are in the process of flying the nest and wife to a husband I do not deserve because he loves me like Christ wants His men to love their wives.

I am still a daughter, sister, aunt, and Aunt Sara to the cutest three little girls there are. BUT, I have looked at those roles through the lens of my past. The unhealthy relationships and coping strategies from my childhood that I didn’t even realize were unhealthy until God removed the scales from my eyes.

It is hard to let go of what/who I THOUGHT I was. There is comfort in the old, even if they are tattered rags instead of the robes of righteousness that God is holding out for me to wear. I am starting to wear those robes for short periods of time. Trying to accept the luxurious feel of these new robes. Trying to remember that I am worthy of wearing these robes because Christ died for me and I am now a co-heir in Him. (Gal 4:7)

Remember your identity is in who GOD says you are, not who other people say you are or even who YOU say you are.

God’s Truth ALWAYS trumps the truth of your circumstances.

Pursuing God’s Love

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Love Worth Pursuing

That was the phrase God gave me over a year ago. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but slowly God started to show me it was the story of my pursuit of him and his pursuit of me. The road to this moment has been long and full of curves I was not expecting.

The Bible is full of seeking the Lord, usually with “your whole heart” attached to it. But, I have to be honest, it is hard to pursue God if you don’t believe he really does love you. The lies we are told from the world around us is that we are NOT worth loving.

In John 3:16 the bible says “For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” That doesn’t sound like a God who doesn’t love you AND He knew you before you were ever born. He knows all of your quirks and faults and still loves you and sees you as the wondrous person He created you to be.

This blog is meant to help empower you, but honestly, mostly me, to pursue God with your whole heart. And to look back on your life and see His fingerprints and love notes to you and how to see them in your current situation, no matter what that may look like.

I pray that my story of God pursuing me and my pursuit of Him will help you to venture out on your own path of seeking God with your whole heart.