What is my potential? That is the tension I am currently living in.

I am reminded that God has created me in His image. The wildly creative God who designed the millions of different species of birds, mammals, fish and reptiles, not to mention the Arctic and the Tropics all on one big ball. The picture below was taken in Ireland, the little yellow plant clinging to the windy cliffs of Moher with the Atlantic ocean behind. Who would have thought of that combination except for God? And He has created all of us with more creativity than that.

I feel like God buried me like a bulb three long years ago. No kids/mothering to do, a helpmate to my husband but that meant no regular job as we own a business that does not usually allow for regular hours. No hobbies cultivated when I was younger to fall back on. Who was I?

I married at 20 and became a mom at almost 24. I love my husband and am so glad to be his wife. He challenges me like no other and can handle me when I am a whiner (which is a lot of the time).  I feel like I was born to be a mom. I taught them to be kind and respectful. Sometimes pushing them out of their comfort zone so they could see what they were good at and trying to remind them to live like God’s chosen ones, like they are. To remember their potential, not because of what their earthly parents can do but because of whose they are. And with God’s grace flowing through my husband and me, they have graduated from college and are living their dreams.

But now what??

My mom was a great mother when I was young, but so insecure in her frailties that calling any “greatness” or “creativity” out of her kids, especially her oldest child/daughter, was not an option. God, in His infinite wisdom, has called me to something I feel I am not remotely qualified for and, at this hormone riddled stage of life, I am feeling even less so. Isn’t it a little late to call into being any creativity I have, especially since I have not been known for much?

But what if? What if God has waited until now to let it come out. I know that I want to be SO very self-sufficient (pride and heredity) BUT God. He knows that is not how I am to live as a child of His. And with His wisdom I have been able to mostly come out of the haze of hormonal depression and fatigue. I have been willing to wrestle with Him about my potential. I usually like being right, ask my husband, but maybe instead of burying my potential in everyone else’s expectations, even my own, I should ask God what He thinks. And thankfully, I am more willing to hear the answer than maybe ever before.

Have you ever asked God what your potential is AND been willing to fully embrace the answer? I know that scares me beyond just about anything. What about you?