Rejected is how I have been feeling for a while, actually, a long while. And today, God reminded me that is how I am treating Him.
You know, Satan’s lies start small, kind of like in the Garden of Eden.
The serpent says to Eve, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” Find the story here: Genesis 3
That question threw Eve off just enough that she exaggerated what God had actually said about the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and the rest is history.
How like us. We hear something and then the whispers that sound a lot like our own voices start to distort what loved ones, friends, and even God has spoken to us.
That is where I am right now. I have listened to the whispers of the deceiver and believed them. That people really don’t like me, that I am too much or not enough. And when you are so very aware of your own faults, they get magnified way out of proportion. This plays out in the staying in my comfort zone, I’m not going to get rejected there. I stick to one on one mentoring, which I love, but I can do damage control from there. I feel misunderstood, but my introverted personality and the fear of rejection will stop me from verifying if my feelings are validated or just nonsense.
What does this have to do with rejecting God? I have been running from my calling for too many years. God wants me to write, He has made that abundantly clear and yet I just keep putting it off. This morning, as I was praying/talking to God I got the loving but stern reminder that this writing thing needs to happen. I, of course, said I didn’t have time and I needed to meet with the people that I am mentoring/discipling and I had made the appointments. I could almost hear the sadness as He asked “What about me?” I admit, I have a hard time with one on one time with my God. He has proved Himself faithful countless times and is my portion but for some reason…
Do you struggle with rejecting God, too? Either by neglecting your quiet time with His Word, the bible, or not trusting Him with your life and dreams. I will probably struggle with both of these things as long as I breathe but I want to remember this the most: